.png)
So, I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I was good in my relationship with God. I thought that my walk with Him was where it needed to be. Boy was I wrong.
This past week I went to Centrifuge at Union University in Jackson Tennessee. I don't think I've ever experienced something so powerful in my entire life. From seeing God work in the lives of people I didn't even know, to seeing God work in my heart and in the hearts of those who I know.
I thought I was right with God. But, the truth is that I wasn't trusting him. I knew in my head that His ways are perfect and that his path for my life is perfect. However, in my heart I was anxious, I was worried, and I felt so alone. I felt like no one understood how I was feeling, and that I was alone in my battles. Leave it to God to begin to work in my heart right off the bat. The first night at worship the preacher said that we are at war, but we shouldn't worry because the battle is not ours to fight. The battle is God's. All through out the week, I kept that thought in my head, and my relationship with God grew in ways that it hasn't in a long time. The very last night in church group devotions, Brother Todd had us write the things we needed to leave at camp on a piece of paper. He then told us to throw that piece of paper away, to leave it at camp, and to not take those struggles home with us.
That's exactly what I did. I wrote out my struggles and the things that I was at war with, and then I threw them in the trash with a smile on my face.
The morning we left, the preacher told us to be prepared. Because as soon as we got home, the devil was going to come calling. He was going to try to tear us down because we were all on fire for God. He was going to try to put out that fire. Sure enough, that night when I was at home, I felt this voice saying that I was alone and that I had no one to help me through my battles. I felt this overwhelming sadness and for a split second, I felt that I was alone. Now a week ago, I would've believed that voice. I probably would've run to my room to cry alone, and I would've believed that I was in fact alone.
However, another voice told me to run to my room grab my Bible and start reading. I chose to listen to that voice. I instantly ran up to my room, grabbed my Bible and opened it to Psalms 34. I read that chapter and multiple times it reminded me that God was with me and that I was not alone in my battles. It said, "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears". It reminded me that God "delivers us from all our troubles". It told me that "The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
I felt God's presence in something as simple as reading His word, and I feel ashamed to say that I haven't done that as often as I should. But, I knew God was there as I was reading His word. I didn't just know that I was not alone and that I would never be alone again, but I felt it in my heart. I felt his presence in my soul, and it was extremely powerful.
​​
If anyone reading this is struggling with something. Please, just give it to God. Even if you have no idea what to do and you are completely lost, just keep your eyes on God because he will work in your life if you allow him to. The struggles we face in life are hard, but they all happen for a purpose that we can't understand. We have to stop trying to make sense of God's plans because we are not capable of understanding His ways. He exceeds everything that we could ever know, so we can't expect to understand why He does certain things.
God doesn't make sense. His plans don't make sense. The wars we face may not make sense. But that's the point! We are not God, so we can't expect to understand all His ways! He is going to put wars in your life. You will lose people you love, and relationships that you thought would last forever. You will be rejected. You won't get everything you want. But we have to trust him. We have to believe in Him because He is a trustworthy God. Because every war and every battle we endure has a purpose. Every person we meet and every person we lose has a purpose in our lives. Every smile we experience and every tear that rolls down our cheeks have a purpose.
Everything isn't always going to be okay. But THAT IS OKAY! It's okay to be scared of the outcome of a battle. It's okay to fear falling in love and having your heart broken. It's okay to fear rejection. IT IS OKAY TO BE SCARED. But we have to turn that fear into faith.
We are at war in this world, but we don't just have a God that fights along side of us. We have a God who stands in front of us and will fight for us. We have a God whose grace is unfailing, and whose love is unconditional. We have a God who will deliver you from all your fears and all your struggles. We all have wars to fight, but we must praise Him through every single one. God never promised that we wouldn't get hurt. He never said being a believer would make life perfect. He never said we would never be heartbroken. He never promised we wouldn't face rejection. These things will happen, and it is not God's fault. It is God's purpose. If you are struggling, embrace the obstacles that the Lord has placed in front of you. Praise Him through each battle you endure. Stop avoiding the battle, stop trying to escape it, and stop trying to hide from it. These battles are here for a purpose that we just don't understand yet.
Don't close yourself off to him, and don't think you are alone. Open your heart, allow God to come in, and be prepared for Him to speak to you because He will. Trust in Him through every battle and through every storm. Because He is always God, and he is always good.